Monday October 2nd, 2017

The exercise:

Write about: the artifact.

Spent the day with the boys while Kat went up to Penticton to work out of her new office there. She's going to be there every other Monday, with the hope of having a few face to face clients. It's a shared space with a masseuse who doesn't work Mondays so it's looking pretty ideal at this point.

Took the boys grocery shopping and then to the park this morning. Miles immediately spotted a seagull and went chasing after it. Not long after that he found a duck to chase. Had to get them home before he chased something into the lake.

Back to work for a couple days before I get Thursday off. Looking like it will be a chilly start to the day.

Mine:

"What are we looking for down here?"

"I'll know it when I see it."

"That's... not helpful."

"Just keep the flashlight steady, okay?"

"What... did you hear that?"

"Hey! Shiny shiny over here, remember?"

"But I heard something move over there. Hello? Who's there?"

"It's probably just a rat. I'm pretty sure there's a family or two or three of them down here."

"Probably? Two or three? I'm not enjoying the uncertainty of this little adventure."

"Relax... hey, shine that thing over here. I think this is what we need."

"If I hear any more doubt coming out of your mouth I'm handing in my resignation as soon as -"

"This is it! The exhibit is going to be so much better because of... oh, damn it."

"Do I want to know?"

"I think one of the rats might have eaten part... well, most of the artifact."

3 comments:

morganna said...

Old and decrepit
Relic of earlier times
She glares at askers.

Greg said...

@Morganna: nicely done! I had to go back to Marc's post and check that it wasn't a haiku day. I really like how much you've managed to fit into just 17 syllables here -- I feel like I can see this scene exactly.

@Marc: I'm looking forward to the first tale of hilarious mix-ups with appointment days, where Kat is bemusedly trying to talk someone into keeping their clothes on and the masseuse is trying to take the clothes off someone who thinks this is some new-age therapy.... I also like the fact that Max chases birds and hope that you've got some emu hanging around Penticton for when he's older. Though I suppose if he did you've have told me about the emu-gate when you were telling me about the deer-gate.
Edible artefacts? That's a bit worrying, though I suppose rats will chew on just about anything. I like the enthusiasm (to varying degrees) in this piece, and the language tone differences (I really liked "shiny shiny over here"). I do hope we see more of this pair in the future!

The artifact
[Loosely inspired by this.]
One of the things I've always wondered about these artefacts is, who the hell wanted to make something like this in the first place?. I've got a museum full of them; in fact I've got the largest part of the De Havilleau collection here (in fairness that's because no-one else in their right mind wants any of it, but that's another story), and I still don't get what would drive anyone to make of these.
This case here, look see, holds an artefact called the Silver Carillon, a beautiful silver church with bell-tower, the whole thing about the size of your two fists. There are six individual, tiny bells in the bell tower and each actually rings. And each bell steals a sense from you: one steals your sight, another your sense of smell, a third your sense of touch. If you're mad enough to ring all six bells (and ringing the sixth must be an effort given you're insensate at that point) it steals your soul. It's intricate, beautiful, lethal and who could possibly think that this is something that the world needed creating?
Or over here, take a look at this. This is known as Pickman's Model. It looks like one of those articulated wooden stick-dolls that artists use to pose to help them picture the structure of the human or beast that they're painting, drawing or sculpting. You can see the little wires that hold the wooden pieces together and the beautiful turning and sanding of the pieces. But don't touch it! If you touch it ghouls are summoned from... well, wherever ghouls come from I suppose, and you'll be woken in the middle of the night by the foul charnel stench of their breath as they huddle over you, their rubbery, gelatinous skin not quite touching yours, their huge black anime eyes staring at you, waiting because they only eat their food when it's awake. Who needs that in their life?
This one, now this one's another mystery. This is known as the Primamazon and is a simple rectangle of beaten iridium -- worth a fortune in the metals markets -- imprinted with symbols that expert minds think are numbers in some unknown, possibly forgotten, language. The velvet rope is there for a reason: if you get within three metres of it you'll be possessed with an uncontrollable urge to go shopping and buy things. Your rational mind is somehow suspended and when -- if! -- you ever escape its spell you'll find yourself with a mountain of tat and a bigger mountain of debt.
Of all these artefacts the only one I understand is this: the Carver spectacles. You put them on, and they change your vision so all you can see is black and white. Not just literally, but figuratively too: the world becomes a simple set of yes/no decisions. I love them -- all the colours of this world were too bright for me, and this makes life easier.

Marc said...

Morganna - you've managed to pack quite a bit of story into those three lines. Very impressive. (also I'd happily read more about this!)

Greg - hah, that would be quite the mix up. And... yeah, I could see these two coming back for another visit or two.

Those are some fantastic(ally dangerous) artifacts! I like the church one a lot. And I enjoyed how the final artifact has been put to use by your narrator.

Though I worry slightly what will become of him while he's wearing those glasses...